Who do I want to hold close in thought as I weigh up how I will vote in the up-coming so-called “Smacking Referendum” – indeed, whether I then choose to vote?

On the one hand, I’m so aware of infants such as 3 year old Nia Glassi, and Riley Osborne, just 16 months old, both of whom died violent deaths at the hands of ‘family.’  I’m also painfully aware of the yet many other vulnerable young amongst us who have had to be admitted to hospital because of severe physical abuse inflicted on them in their homes.

To our collective shame, New Zealand’s rate of infanticide is the third highest in the OECD, being 4-6 times higher than that organisation’s average! Horrendously, little Nia and Riley are but the tip of an iceberg! I believe, however, that anti-smacking legislation would not have made the slightest impact on the people responsible for Nia and Riely’s deaths. Adults who take to little children with such a level of violence, even prolonged witnessed abuse, have long past the point where such genteel laws have any impact.

Given this, to my mind, anti-smacking legislation misses the most important target. Instead it seeks to criminalise Jo and Joan Bloggs who love their children and are well able to moderate their behaviour to suit every occasion. These parents need to be encouraged, not legislated against so that they are lumped in with men and women imbued with a real penchant for violence against others.

To me, the shame of this referendum is that $9 million dollars is being wasted on a meaningless process when it could be getting used for value education programmes teaching mutual respect and promoting the dignity of human life in every form. Our legislators, when the eyes of the world are so aware of this ugly shadow side to our country, have once again taken the easiest, most convenient option rather than act to more effectively address the real, underlying issues – all the many and varied ways our national culture promotes violence, be that from the ever increasing use of the haka, the on the field modelling by our national sports teams, our driving etiquette (or lack of it) and so on.

The challenge this referendum raises for us all is our need as a nation to get serious about the horrendous level of violence that exists amongst us.