Empathy is a word inextricably linked with faith.  Ideals of compassion, hope, forgiveness and understanding have always been themes of major religious movements.  They also belong to an unspoken, universal undercurrent that belongs to the underlying script of what we associate with the ideals of human decency.

The tragic case of Rosemary Ives and Andrew Mears is heartbreaking in any language.  A beautiful young woman’s life is cut short through no fault of her own and the nation rightly empathises with her grieving loved ones.  My thoughts too are with Rosemary and the people who treasured her.  However concurrently and with equal measure my prayers are with Andrew Mears and those who give his life meaning.

I have long thought that New Zealand society is preoccupied with blame. Whether it’s casting blame in our justice, welfare and political systems or irrational remonstrations about our high profile sporting failures, a scapegoat is usually sort, found and quickly executed.  It is my hope that this is not the lens through which we view Andrew Mears.

When I close my eyes and think of Andrew Mears the phrase ‘There but for the grace of God go I’ ruminates within my soul.  There is no doubt that Andrew made a horrifically poor decision with tragic consequences when he knowingly breached safety procedures that night.  He broke the law and the cold reality is that it cost an innocent young woman her life.  I do not defend his actions but instead reflect on the times I have made my own ‘stupid’ decisions along life’s path.  Fortunately for my family and I, my errors in judgment have not come at such a devastatingly high cost.  After all who among us hasn’t answered a call while driving? Who hasn’t misjudged a passing maneuver? Who hasn’t made an adrenaline filled decision that put either ourselves or others in danger?  Whether it’s the grace of God, Luck, Chance, or Fate I am acutely aware that Andrew Mears could be the face of any one of us.  It could be our tear stained image dejected and broken in front of Rosemary’s family and the watching public.

Andrew Mears does not need our blame. He needs our empathy.  My thoughts and prayers will be with Andrew, Rosemary and all the lives that have been affected by this devastating tragedy.  I will also be praying for the ideals of human decency and what that means juxtaposed against the flawed disposition of the human condition.